Monday’s back home are my favorite day since I came back from Oceania in January because Monday’s after work is when Bren is off from his job and can play video games with us. Monday’s here are still Sunday back home though so I wasn’t quite sure what to do with myself since Bren had work and I had already exhausted the possibilities in Collingwood.
Unsure of what to do I sat in the living room for a bit watching archer and then rick and morty. I remembered that Bren had asked if I could extend my trip a day so we could spend his day off together before I left so I called American Airlines and tried to see what I could do. A replacement ticket would be $1000 and I thought as much as I feel at home here I can come back for $1000 instead of just delaying my departure for that amount of money. I downloaded Skype which I haven’t used in years because I totally forgot that Google Dialer is a thing and just went back to what I know would work. The good part is that 1-800 numbers are free to call on skype so I sat there on hold for about 25 minutes before I spoke to the sweetest operator in Fort Worth, TX. We talked about the weather and her recent trip to Iceland and what it’s like being in Australia all while she did her best to find me a new flight home. I was prepared to be hit with a bill at the end but then I learned that because I had booked my ticket using points that it was technically a refundable ticket and could be changed to any date I wanted for no additional charge. The only difference was the tax you pay but in this case I think the difference was about $10. I was so excited to be able to get a few more precious hours here.
Mission or the day accomplished I wasn’t quite sure what to do with the rest of my day, so I did what I always do when I’m unsure of what to do - play Destiny 2. I found that some of my mates were online and needed a sixth person to attempt one of the difficult missions of the game. So I joined from Bren’s account, curled up on the couch as close to his monitor as I could get because I’m so blind, and played video games for a couple hours. By the time it was too late for the team back home to continue our mission I looked at the clock and realized that’s why my stomach was rumbling. It was nearly 2pm and I hadn’t eaten a thing yet!
I cleaned up the clutter I had created in the living room and did the dishes that we had piled in the sink from our midnight snack the night before and then headed out on a mission to go to a place called LazerPig. Why? Well remember the video game I mentioned earlier? That’s the game that brought so many wonderful people in my life including Bren. One of them, Tommy in Austin, one day said “that’ll do pig!” to me as we completed a match online then immediately apologized explaining that he wasn’t calling me a pig but referencing a movie, “Babe.” I laughed at him and said of course I know what you were talking about and for whatever reason since then we’ve taken to calling each other pig. So when I saw a local restaurant called Lazerpig I texted Tommy about it and we both agreed that I had to go.
Despite its high reviews I didn’t have very high expectations for Lazerpig based solely on the fact that it’s a pizza joint. They’re known for brick oven pizzas made with sourdough instead of regular dough. As a native New Yorker this set off all kinds of warning signs. I’ve spent my entire life eating pizza of all kinds but from the pizza capital of the world and can tell you for sure that finding good pizza outside of New York City is a challenge at best and impossible most of the time. I walked into the Lazerpig and was already a little impressed. It had a great vibe and a DJ playing some great jazzy, rock, electronic-ish tunes. I had done a bit of research on the menu before arriving and knew what I wanted - the classic pizza with salami. Here salami is more akin to pepperoni in a lot of places then it is to the salami you think of back home on your cold cut sandwich. I ordered the pizza and the beer and paid $45 for it which seemed outrageous to me. Then I looked at realized I had missed the lunch special by 20-minutes. In general I’ve found eating out here to be expensive.
As I sat on my stool at the table I chose I jammed out to the tunes and started up a new Kindle book to pass the time. The smell of the brick oven was pungent in the air and I was ready to see that this pizza was all about. When it finally arrived it was hot and steamy. The crust was very fluffy and the edges had the tell tale slight burn to them that you get with a real wood burning pizza oven. The smell was pretty good but I wanted to wait a second for it to cool before trying it. After an unfortunate incident with a tater tot that scorched the tip of my tongue to oblivion the other night I’ve gotten more wary of fresh out of the oven foods.
I gave the pizza another poke and when it didn’t release burning hot magma steam at me I knew it was okay to eat. I grabbed a small piece and folded it then took a big bite. This pizza. Let me tell you. It was the perfect harmony of flavors. I thought that the sourdough base would overpower it but they smartly paired it with a more tart tomato sauce and rich mozzarella cheese. I got to the crust and it was an absolute treat at the end of the incredibly thin slice. I was absolutely sold on this pizza and proceeded to enjoy every last bit of it.
Now full of amazing pizza, who’s flavor will haunt my dreams until I return, I decided to walk to the city center today. I figured why not. I wound up going through Fitzroy Gardens and enjoyed the tranquility of nature in the middle of the city. I kept going until I got to the art museum and then I got a text from Bren asking me what I wanted for dinner. I told him the story of my delicious pizza and he went ahead and made reservations for us at a bbq joint for 7pm. That’s when I realized how far I had wandered from home and that if I at all wanted to make it to dinner on time that I had better turn back now and make the trek back.
By the time I hit Collingwood I was tired. I really overextended myself with that long walk so I stopped in to the grocery and picked up a cold brew to keep myself from collapsing into a deep slumber right there on the sidewalk. Even with the cold brew, however, I needed a quick lay down before changing my shirt and getting ready for dinner. Bren got held up at work so he asked me to meet him there.
It turns out I had walked right by the place on my trek home so when the uber dropped me off I was like oh this is a familiar part of town. I thanked him and then looked around for the restaurant. There’s this thing with Melbourne that I don’t quite get. Like K-town back home you have restaurants and bars stacked on top of each other up to 5 floors high. But in Melbourne the signage for these establishments is crap. I stood there on the sidewalk for a solid minute before I figured out which poorly labeled door would get me to the restaurant and even after picking the right one I found myself on the landing wondering if the unmarked door I was standing in front of would get me there or if it was further up. Then I remembered in the reviews people pointing out this exact same scenario and remembered their advice that it is the first unmarked door that gets you to BBQ and the stairs to the second door gets you to the bar.
Thankfully I didn’t have to wait much longer for Bren to arrive. The smell of the meat smoker was delicious and the place was really cool looking. We sat and looked over the menu. The waiter informed us that the only ribs they had today were the pork ribs and it was $10 a kilo for 900 kilos but they recommend 200 kilos per person. I got a bit lost in his explanation and then Bren clued me in that it was about $100 for a rack of ribs. We agreed that for ribs that expensive they better taste like the angels of pork heaven were upon us blessing our tongues with a flavor we have never had before. So we decided to go for the wings and brisket instead along with queso fries and a sausage with peach chow chow. Oh and a buttermilk biscuit which Bren had never heard of before and the waiter explained it as a savory scone. I was shocked and asked if Bren had ever been to Popeyes on his last trip to California and he said yes but he couldn’t figure out why they tried to give him a scone with his fried chicken.
The food arrived quickly and was delicious. We ate and I laughed at Bren examining the biscuit that they put in front of him. After we finished eating Bren wanted a lemon meringue dessert but told the waiter he would let him know when he was ready for it. We got so caught up in conversation that we both nearly forgot about it altogether. The dessert arrived and now it was my turn to be the bewildered one. It looked nothing like I imagined it would. Basically I was thinking lemon meringue pie and in front of me was a blob of white mousse on top of some graham cracker crumbs with a toasted marshmallow on top. It was still really good though so I wasn’t complaining.
After dinner we went for another small wander through Chinatown where Bren decided it was a good idea to share a story he heard from a nurse that in Chinatown they were kidnapping homeless people and killing them to make human jerky. Bren said he wondered which place it was and would love to find out. I told him it sounded horrific and that it was just looking for trouble. Our wander culminated with finding a taxi and getting a ride back to the apartment. I was exhausted and so was Bren so we didn’t even bother staying up to watch tv or have a drink. It was just off to bed and after the miles I put on today I was more then happy to just curl up and go to sleep.
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