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The Saddest Person Travelling to New York

View of sunrise over an apartment balcony in Melbourne, VIC

My final day in Melbourne was tinged bittersweet as soon as my eyes opened to the inky dark blue early morning sky. The chainsaw whirring of Bren’s snoring has stopped and I wondered if something was wrong. A moment later Bren leapt out of bed and said that since he couldn’t sleep any longer that he was just going to get up. I didn’t see much of a point in staying in bed to try to catch some more sleep when the whole point of this trip was to relax and spend time with Bren. Of course I waited a few minutes first to see if sleep would come to me but it felt a little pointless so I went upstairs to join Bren in the living room.

I found him pouting slightly while looking at his iPad, already dressed for work in his usual royal blue dress shirt and khakis and sipping on his first of, what I assumed would be many, espressos of the day. I plopped down in the leather chair beside him and began writing my blog entry for the day before after he greeted me. The two of us sat there side by side focused on our electronic devices. After a few moments Bren turned on a news podcast and then began puttering around the apartment. The podcast talked a little about everything all over the world and, as usual, I found myself in a sarcastic conversation with Bren about Trump. Once the news was over Bren switched to playing music and the sun slowly rose turning the inky black blue sky to a brilliant violet. We stood on the small balcony and I peered through the slats in the wall, admiring the swath of colors that painted the sky. I’ve found Bren’s taste in music to be really good, it’s all stuff I would enjoy so when he switched to Tiny Desk by NPR I knew I was in for a treat. He had mentioned the other day that he really liked NPR and I thought it was curious and about how I should get back into it too. I had no idea Tiny Desk existed but he found some good ones and put it on for me as he continued about his chores and getting ready for the day. Sadly our musical morning had to reach an end so Bren could go to work. I asked him if he packed his lunch, which I knew he had forgotten to grab the day before and was almost certain he had forgotten again, and sure enough he had almost left it behind again.

While Bren left to conquer the day I wondered what I would do with myself. Thankfully work answered that question for me and I found myself working from my phone from the living room for a few hours until the work day ended back home. Keeping up with work has been interesting - not incredibly difficult but slightly unusual to be able to get so much done and be able to deliver it while everyone else is sleeping. Done with work for the day, I set about to tidy up the flat. I put all of Bren’s PS4 accessories and the PS4 back in his room from where I had absconded with it to play Destiny 2, then I made sure our dishes were done and went about the horrible task of packing my bags. I tried not to think about the fact that I would be leaving so soon. Soon enough my stomach was grumbling and I had run out of chores so I decided it was time to get dressed and do something outside the flat. I walked down to the grocery where I did a mini wander. I rarely stop to examine all the different foods, despite grocery stores being one of my favorite things to see when I travel, but with all the time in the world and having already explored the health grocer and the meat grocer it was nice to see what was going on. I found some interesting things and grabbed a meat pie for breakfast/lunch as well as a cold coffee. Then I picked up some Tim tams which I had promised my coworkers I’d bring back for them and some vegemite as a joke since they were all obsessed with asking me about it when I told them where I was going.

I had texted Bren to see if he needed anything (he didn’t respond for another 2hrs then said he didn’t need anything) and then I remembered that replacing the pasta that he cooked for his weekly lunch and coffee pods were on his list. I had already tried to pick up coffee pods the other day and was completely overwhelmed by the choices they had as well as the different systems. So much so that I thought it might actually be easier to just buy them a whole new coffee maker instead of trying to figure out which pod they like. Pasta was pretty easy though since I remembered he used penne and saw only 4 different brand options for penne instead of 20 for the coffee. Next I had to figure out what I wanted to eat. I didn’t want to eat out again, especially since I knew we would be eating out for dinner. Then I remembered my favorite kind of food - meat in pastry pouches - and that Australia was pretty famous for meat pies yet I hadn’t had one the whole trip. And it’s one of my favorite foods! So I went to pick one up and there was a little old lady eyeing them too. She turned to me and asked me what the date was, presumably to see when the pies were marked to expire and how long she had to eat it, and when I opened my mouth to tell her her eyes opened wide and her I heard her whisper oh! and then do a double take when I walked away. I guess she didn’t expect to hear an American in the grocery store on a Wednesday.

I always travel with a reusable shopping bag. I picked it up on my trip to Switzerland because I ran out of space in my backpack to carry home all my souvenirs. I had decided to bring it with me to the grocery because I had no use for a plastic bag and I was unsure of what to do with it since I wouldn’t be using it for anything else. It was a good thing I did though because there were signs everywhere saying that Woolies had gone plastic bag free. So with my bag full of groceries (and by groceries I mean chocolate chip cookies, meat pies, Tim tams, juice and dry pasta) I walked back to the flat.

I had unpacked everything, packed up my suitcase, and settled in to the leather chair in the living room do some writing for the book I’m trying to write. I figured I had a few hours to kill and why not do something creative. I brought my sketchbook to the living room as well but all the inspiration I had to draw earlier in the week had left me. I considered sitting outside on the balcony to do my writing since the weather was pretty mild but the leather chair was by far more comfortable then the ikea stool on the balcony. I put on some best of the 70’s playlist and got to writing. It didn’t last very long.

Maybe a half hour into my writing I heard someone walking up the stairs. Jobin appeared at the top of the landing and plopped himself into the other leather chair next to me. Soon enough we were deep in conversation about everything and anything. Evolution, politics, religion, world history, pop culture, music. No topic was too broad or too random. Before I knew it the room had grown dark and Jobin looked at the time to tell me that we had been talking for the last three and a half hours! I’m sure we would’ve kept going too until Bren got home but when Alana arrived home it shifted the conversation a bit to include her as well. The two of them started cooking dinner and chatting about work. I just sat in the chair and watched them go about their early evening for a while before going to charge my phone and put away my notebook.
Serving of Vegemite on buttered toast

The three of us started talking about language, which was interesting to me because Jobin speaks with this hybrid Euro/Cali/Aussie accent, with his inflection changing based on the word. Then we started talking about trademark Australian things and vegemite came up. Alana was all about it, Jobin said that he’s tried it a few different ways since everyone has their own method of eating it, but still doesn’t like it, and I added that I had never had it before. I honestly thought Alana would fall of her chair when I said that. She asked how I could have known Bren, been to the country before, and yet never tried it. I told her that when I asked Bren about it that he told me he was pretty sure that the only reason Australians like it is because they’re given it as a kid and so it’s more the nostalgia then the actual flavor that they love. Alana thought this was unacceptable and immediately began scurrying around the kitchen getting all the different topics together before she realized that they had no bread. She told me that I had to tell Bren to bring some home with him but I was hesitant so she ended up calling him and telling him it was imperative that he get us bread so that I can try vegemite. Bren said that I should just eat a spoonful of it and Alana exclaimed that that was why so many foreigners hate it - because they just try it raw and that’s not how it should be eaten.

I sat there laughing my head off as Alana got everything together and awaited Bren with the bread. Joben spent the time critiquing vegemite and just generally talking bad about it but Alana was not having it. She thought it was her national duty for me to have a positive vegemite experience. I heard Bren come in the front door and a moment later his head inquisitively peaking into the room. He later told me over dinner that he felt like he was walking into a party in progress and that he was missing out on all the fun, but I assured him that I was the party so if anything he robbed Alana and Joben of the fun when he got us a cab to go to dinner. Bren’s arrival was warmly welcomed as Alana grabbed the bread from him and prepped the oven to toast it since she couldn’t find the toaster. He sat down at the table with Joben and I and we continued our chat while Alana puttered away. I told Alana not to go too crazy because we had dinner reservations that we were already late for. Earlier that afternoon Bren asked what I wanted for dinner, unusual since he always did the meal selections for us. I proposed two options - one was the ramen place he had been talking about all week and the other was my favorite restaurant from my last trip here. He told me I had to chose since it was my last night and after thinking about it I said f-it let’s do the fancy one and made Bren make the reservation. Anyway it was a good thing that Bren did the reservation because as we sat there waiting for Alana to finish her vegemite toast concoctions he has to call and tell them we would be late. Alana was a little disappointed that we were going out to dinner since it meant that I couldn’t try quite as many combinations as she had planned. The first one she gave me was toast, vegemite, and avocado and it was shockingly good. The second was more traditional salted butter and vegemite - it wasn’t nearly as good but still not nearly as bad as I expected it to be.
Bren smiling over a plate of Wallaby steaks at Pure South restaurant

Vegemite appetizer done, Bren and I jetted off to the city for dinner. I selected Pure South as our final dinner, a high end Australian restaurant that specializes in foods from southern Australia and Tasmania. Bren was still wearing his blazer from work and I was slightly underdressed in a T-shirt. We ordered cocktails and looked over the menu trying to decide what to get. I knew I wanted the wallaby and as a change of pace Bren ended up following my example and ordering the same thing. We got the octopus to start and a couple of oysters and the chips as our side. As we were eating dinner Bren made a comment about how we had eaten chips (aka French fries) at every meal and we laughed about it to ourselves. Bren ordered a beer to follow up on our cocktails and I simply told the waiter I would have the same. I told Bren that having such similar tastes made things so easy because all I have to do is say I’ll have the same. Bren said yea that’s good until I order something you don’t like. We had creme brûlée for dessert and sat for almost another hour or maybe longer after we finished eating just talking. Bren asked if I was ready for my long flight home with plenty of music, movies, and books downloaded to keep me busy. I turned away from him, not wanting him to see how sad it made me to think on my looming departure. I told him no, but that it was okay because I’d just spend the flight crying from being so sad I had to leave. Soon we realized that we were the only non-staff left in the whole restaurant. I treated, the bill was just as expensive as I remember it being the last time but it was worth it to have a special dinner together as the last meal of my trip. Bren ordered us an uber home and we played Mario Kart again until we were both falling asleep with the controllers in our hands. That meant it was time for bed and as I crawled beneath the fluffy, warm duvet in the cool night air for the last time I couldn’t help but take a deep breath, making a mental note of how everything in that moment felt before drifting off to sleep.

My alarm went off at 4am and with it came a wave of melancholy. I pushed it down and Bren stirred from my alarm as well, asking what time it was before heading off to the bathroom. When he got back I was up and ready to head into the shower and he said is 4am even a real time, it must be some break in the laws of physics that it exists. Clever for someone who was sleeping on his feet. Showered and dressed I gathered the last few of my things in the dark before calling an uber and waking Bren up to say goodbye. He sleepily gave me a hug goodbye and told me to have a safe trip home before gathering all the blankets and rolling himself up in them. I told him that hopefully I’ll see him soon and he said yes very soon, safe travels.

As I write this I’m on the first of three flights to get back to New York. Normally I’d call it getting back home but in five short days Melbourne and the flat in Collingwood felt more like home then anywhere I had ever been in the world. I’m sure all of it is due to Bren and his hospitality. It was so natural to get into a familiar rhythm and there was never a moment when I thought I couldn’t be my most primal self without regard to judgement or anything like that. Like putting on your favorite pair of shoes without needing to tie the laces. It’s never felt this hard to leave a place before. I don’t know if Bren will ever read this, but if you are just know that I couldn’t have asked for a better trip and that I can’t wait to see you again. 105 days until October and 188 until I’m flying back to Australia again, not that anyone is counting.

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