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The Great Ocean Road: Scenic Overlooks Better Than The Twelve Apostles




I wasn’t at all sure what I would do to fill out my day in Port Campbell. The town itself is about a 5 minute walk wide so I knew if I was going to do anything more then sit on the beach that I would have to set off in my car and look for something. So that’s just what I did.

Upon checking the map I saw that I was nearly at the end of highway B100 aka the Great Ocean Road. At the end it meets the Princes highway and is effectively done. I figured I had gotten this far so why not see it all the way through. I also noticed a bunch of scenic overlooks on the way and made a mental note to drive slow enough to stop at all of them.

Scenic Overlook 1: Port Campbell Discovery Walk
Turns out Port Campbell just isn’t a bay side surf town but it’s also a national park. This stop was literally just outside of town and had a terrific aerial view of the whole town. It’s also a mammoth walk through the woods to the next town over, about a 2.5km walk according to the sign. I briefly considered doing it but then remembered that I would have to walk back again afterwards and walking through the woods seemed like a poor use of my time. Rating: 2/5

Scenic Overlook 2: London Bridge
This one had a lot of hype. It was in all the guide books and there were tons of dad jokes about seeing “the London Bridge that has fallen down!” I was very curious to see what it was all about especially since there were a lot of cars parked in the lot. I got out and walked along the dirt path to the observation deck and looked around. Very pretty view of the ocean, cold arctic breeze, cloudy sky (it was before 1pm after all and I would have been shocked if the sun came out before then in Melbourne/Victoria). I looked around and it seemed just like part of the Twelve Apostles - a big ass sea rock. The signage said that this big ass sea rock was once connected to the land but the arctic surf was so strong that it wore down the limestone and broke the limestone connecting the rock to the mainland. Interesting enough and alright to look at for a bit. This was also the first stop where I began to experience the fly infestation of the Great Ocean Road. I had encountered a few yesterday but these seemed more keen on going for a ride in your body. It was very distracting and annoying, especially since I was wearing no sleeves. Rating: 2/5. Fly infestation level: 3/5

Scenic Overlook 3: The Arch
Another giant sea rock. This time it was at least more interesting to look at since it was in fact an arch. A giant sea arch with a cool surf pool next door. The wind was really strong here and felt great. The flys, however, were much worse. By the time I walked back to the car I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown having at one point found 3 just chilling on my bar arm. Rating: 4/5. Fly infestation level: 4/5

Scenic Overlook 4: The Grotto
I just about had it with flys by the time I got to this one but I was also on a mission to see all the scenic overlooks. This one was again, crowded, but the walk was a bit more interesting. First it was a boardwalk and then a dirt path that lead to the first observation deck and then a flight of stairs going down. I wasn’t sure if it was worth climbing down and then back up again, especially since it was kind of crowded at this overlook with other tourists. So I stopped at the first observation deck and took a look around, noticing that there wasn’t anything remarkable or grotto-like to be had. I must head down. The stairs were well maintained but as I headed lower the flys got worse and worse. I had put my long sleeve sweater in my bag to at least prevent the flies from landing directly on my skin but the sun was starting to come out and heat me up as I climbed. Already sweaty I couldn’t imagine putting on more clothing, but at the same time I couldn’t fathom where all the damn flies came from. When I reached the bottom where the grotto was the infestation was at an all time high. Everyone was swatting at them as an Asian family took up the whole space methodically taking family photos in all the possible permutations that can be had with two young boys, a teenage girl, a mom, dad, and grandma. I was about to lose it and shove them over the rock ledge into the shallow pool below over my fly swatting rage when they finally left and I got to actually see the grotto. It was really cool. The water was nearly still inside of it while the ocean raged just on the other side of the rocks through the keyhole view. The walk back made everyone bring the flies with them. One even made it in my car. Rating 4/5. Fly infestation level: 5/5

Scenic Overlook 5: Bay of Martyrs
I had no expectations of this one but was surprised to find it was the only overlook with beach access. The view from the top, nothing much compared to the others, but having access to the shore was bananas. I would’ve gone but there was a sign about an endangered bird having it’s nesting season and if you got too close to the nests then you could kill of the species. I’d rather not risk it just for a jaunt on the beach which was rocky and likely the same as all the other coastal access in Victoria. Rating: 3/5. Fly infestation level: 2/5

Scenic Overlook 6: Bay of Islands
This one was by far my favorite. Twelve Apostles who? Honestly it looked so much the same that if you had told me the Bay of Islands was the Twelve Apostles I may have believed you except that there was nearly no one there. By the time I got here it was after 1pm and the sun decided to make its daily appearance. Just in time too. The walk out to the main observation deck was blazing hot but as soon as you step onto the platform the swirling, ice cold arctic air surrounds you as the sun continues to warm your skin as you look out onto the ice blue ocean and watch the waves slice and slap towers of limestone. I could’ve stood out there for hours. The secondary observation deck wasn’t nearly as good and I almost walked back to the first one but my growling stomach called me back to the car. Rating: 5/5. Fly infestation level: 1/5.

From the final scenic overlook I drove out to the self-stylized “final town of the Great Ocean Road.” Personally, I probably wouldn’t call it a town myself it was more like a truck stop at an intersection. I had two choices - continue driving towards South Australia (the next state over) or head back through the farmland and check out Timboon. Through wide open fields of happy cows and fast straight-aways and I got to Timboon Railway Shed Distillery just in time to make it for the final sitting of lunch. I had wanted to eat there because they boasted all local fare and grass fed black angus beef from the cow farm connected to the distillery as well as micro brewed whiskey. All things that I love. The experience, however, was far from ideal. I got the beef baos and a pulled beef sandwich and chips. $42 later and it generally left me underwhelmed. Maybe the chef just didn’t do a good job with the beef but it honestly didn’t taste any better to me then the stuff you find at the grocer, in fact it might have been less tasty then the generic steak sandwich I had eaten the day before in Apollo Bay. I did the whiskey tasting afterwards which was another $10, with the promise that you get the money back if you decide to buy a bottle of whiskey. The only problem is that a small bottle was upwards of $130 and the micro bottle they sold was $60. Still I had come all this way, I should taste their whiskey. The distiller was literally next to the bar in the front window of the shop, which having seen a few distilleries in my day seemed like poor placement. The whiskey itself had all the promise of something amazing with none of the polish. The kind of single malt that does better in a cocktail then in a dram glass. The entire tasting was also less then a single shot which was the most disappointing part.

Full of disappointment I wasn’t sure what else to do besides take a nap and head to the beach just before the sun went back into hiding and the cold night appeared again. I never nap at home. I never felt the need to unless I had been up all night the day before, but here I’m beat by 2pm and just want a snooze. Maybe it’s the super Australian sun that takes it out of you? Or all this time spent upside down lol. My nap in the sunny bunk bed was amazing til my new roommate for the evening came in and woke me up. An older Asian man with no bags- not even a change of clothes or a toothbrush or a towel (he ended up renting one from the front desk). He took the bed furthest away from me and seemed nice enough. I couldn’t get back to sleep though and just laid there for a bit until 5pm.

Last year I packed my bathing suit and used it a grand total of zero times on my trip. This time I was determined to use it. The sun was so hot that the cool water was more then welcome. I slowly waded my way into the surf and let the cool water smash against my body. A bit further out there were a couple of well built men body surfing and further out from them were some young surfers bobbing on their boards in their wetsuits. I got braver and ventured further just in time for the waves to really start up. I was fine for a while until I found myself inadvertently body surfing myself and decided that that was probably enough surf for one evening. I rinsed the salt water off then sat on the grassy knoll just above the beach and read my book while I air dried a bit. If I had to compare this beach I’d say it was like Hanauma Bay in Oahu but with a hint of the North Shore waves (just not enough so that you actually have a hard time getting out of the surf).

I have a weird habit of reading books about Trump while on these trips. Maybe it’s because that’s all the Aussies seem to talk about when they talk about America. Maybe it’s because it makes me feel closer to home. Maybe because it’s too depressing to read while also trapped in my country but far more pleasant to read while considering applying for permanent residency elsewhere. Either way the book (“Fear: Trump in the White House”) and the sun drying the water from my body was perfectly relaxing. I didn’t want to leave at all. I sat watching some young boys play rugby catch (one kicks the other catches and then vice versa) and then I thought to myself, “I can’t wait to be home again.” But I didn’t mean back in New York. I meant back in Melbourne.

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